Imposter syndrome is real. Generally speaking, there are two ways of dealing with it - fight through it, or flee from it.
In work situations, we often don’t have an option to flee from it. If you are a new consultant in a top consulting firm, you know that you’ll have to battle through the anxiety and the feeling that you don’t truly belong there. It can even have some positive effects - it may push you to work doubly hard to the point that you realize that your skill is sufficiently enhanced, and that you’re no longer an imposter.
However, in most aspects of our lives which are not as regimented as work (or school), we have an ever-present option to flee. Say you want to get fit for a marathon, learn a musical instrument, or start something entrepreneurial. Most of us readily know three things:
There will be times when the going will indeed get tough
We will have an option to quit
If things get too difficult, we’ll give into that option
That realization often leaves us paralyzed to start anything that we’re not readily on the hook for. Alas, we see very few of our own friends try to start something - there will be no shame in NOT pushing ourselves. There will be no opportunity to feel inadequate, like an imposter.
Over a day or a week, we can convince ourselves that we more or less made the right decisions. However, as years go by and we haven’t made progress on the things that give us some meaning, we can’t convince ourselves that we have truly allocated our time well over the last few years.
We don’t push ourselves in the short run, and we accept our fate in the long run.
I struggle with this as much as anyone else. I know that the antidote to imposter syndrome is not simply to push through everything. Sometimes the right thing to do is quit / let priorities change. Worse, creating a rule such as “push through every pain” may prevent us from ever getting started.
So how should we pursue meaning? Experiment within boundaries.
A technique that I’m starting to experiment with is what I’m calling the “5-25”. Take a 30-min stretch, say first thing in the morning. And take a goal, say working out. You spend the first 5 mins preparing for the activity (e.g. changing clothes) and you time-box the activity to 25 mins.
25 mins of any activity is not daunting. And because you have 25 mins allocated to the things that give you meaning, you can rest assured that you are making SOME progress. It can instill confidence and peace of mind. And over time, you may want to expand the amount of time you spend on some of those activities, as you experience some success or happiness.
You need to give yourself a chance to ever get there. And time-boxed daily experiments help us get started.
P.S. This post was written in 25 mins.